Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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