Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Randomize
