my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
