so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Randomize
