he shaved USA in his pubs
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I deserve this hangover.
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