everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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