I'm so fucking centered right now
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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