Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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