he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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