He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Randomize
