theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
