I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
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i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
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He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?