I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
