He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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