the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
