I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
