his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
