Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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