Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
We talked him into tasing himself.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
