there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize