Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
