would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
