i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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