my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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