Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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