You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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