I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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