Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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