is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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