she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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