I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
