when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
