we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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