I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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