just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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