try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
