I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
