so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
