I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?