you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.