Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
