The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Randomize
