My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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