Don't you send me to vm
I faked an abortion last night.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
You can't motorboat a personality
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
