Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
