plz talk dirty to me
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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