Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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