It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
