Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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