What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
