Small penises have feelings too.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
