I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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