He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
