Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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