I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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