You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
