Having a random hookup so left but love u
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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