Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
