We're facebook friends in real life
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
