Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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