i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
