She said her name was "party"
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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