I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
