Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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