i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
His hands were made for my vagina.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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