Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
